A Clusterfuck of Life

As some of you may know, in the last two weeks I've had my brand new $400 bike stolen, lost my job at the hotel, and almost broke up with Geoffrey.

I believe my status was 'going down down down in a burning ring of kyle' which my clever friend Mry came up with as we drowned my sorrows in bottles of Kokanee.

The last few days have been somewhat better and I've taken action in a few regards. I went back to the hotel on Monday and demanded severance. After calling the Alberta Labor Board and clarifying a few things, I learned that they didn't have 'just cause' to let me go and therefore I was entitled to two weeks paid severance. The terms of my dismissal were nothing short of preposterous (If you're curious, we'll discuss it over coffee some time) so they really didn't have a leg to stand on when it came to severance- I suppose they just thought that I wouldn't look into it....they were wrong.
(Technically my friend Mandy called the labor board and figured it all out....I was a little upset... but anyways...)

Now on to bigger and better things. I have a position at the Bay as a visual presentation person if I want it. It seems like a pretty good job, I would be in charge of dressing all the manikins in the whole store, I wouldn't have to fold or hang clothes, or dress customers or anything. It would be pretty creative as well and I think I would like it.

In other news... Geoffrey and I are still together. It was touch and go there for a bit. But we're okay now I think.

Status update on bike: still stolen.

I have some apprehensions about working full time. That was the nice thing about being a bartender. I made enough money to work part time and then have lots of time to make art. It concerns me that I may no longer have the time/energy to do much of my own work anymore. Sigh. I'm not sure what to do. It seems like a good idea to get experience in my 'field' I put that in quotes because in some ways it's still not really my field ... but it's applicable I suppose. I know I sound like a big whiny baby, I just don't really want to compromise my artistic practice. Someone once said to me, never work harder for somebody else than you do for yourself....and that would be essentially what I'm doing. That being said, I could consider this experience working for myself in a way since I would get a lot of creative control over the way the store looks.

More other news- I'm designing pocket squares! The little bits of colored fabric that men put in there jacket pockets. I did four designs and have been hired by a new company just starting out. The designs are being manufactured and sold internationally! Pretty jazzy eh? Maybe I'll only work at the Bay until I'm a full time pocket square designer. .. . it seems very likely.

i better start wearing pocket squares...

A couple posts ago I talked about making me and Geoff unicorn costumes for Montreal based on the image I posted... Well, they're done! (They've been done for a while... and we've worn them and ..stuff. but anyways, here they are) Geoff made us hula hoops to match. We were the cutest unicorns...definitely the gayest.

Bedtime is for idea monsters.

Oh idea monsters. how you haunt me. As I fall asleep at night I think of all the beautiful things I will make when I wake up in the morning. Then I wake up... and do yoga, and eat, and bum around, and my idea monsters remain fictional. I went to school today to try and make art. I succeeded in failure. dammit. I'm home now, and I've brought what I'm working on home with me to try and keep going with it. I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet....because I don't know if it will work, but if it does it'll be awesome! (this isn't the unicorn costume, I haven't gotten the stupid fabric for those yet)

Who here has heard of Elie Saab? Damn I like his stuff. It's so flowy and pretty and interesting. I seem to have a hard time with flowy things. I really like structure and when I design it always seems to be very structured silhouettes. I need more flowy in my life. Yes flowy is a word. Don't judge me. I was thinking about using the word flouncy but that seemed too gay.

Anyways, if you're interested, check out more of his stuff, it's pretty epic.

Fear of retaliation

Okay, so it's officially been a REALLY long time since I've blogged. I kept thinking about it and then got scared and then wouldn't. What was I scared of? retaliation? That's silly. It's not like my blog is going to angrily retaliate like ..library books, or student loans, or house plants, when you neglect them. . (okay, house plants don't really angrily retaliate, they just die....which is sad for both of us...and the books themselves don't either....just their bitter lenders..) I'm not a big fan of structure since I tend to be quite negligent (you may have noticed) I probably should never work in a bank...or a hospital... with my 'it's good enough, I'll finish later' attitude.

At least I'm aware of these follies. Anyways, the purpose of this blog is to talk fashion, and talk fashion I shall. I just (almost) finished a wedding dress for my hairdresser. She's getting married in a refurbished barn near Canmore. The dress is entirely lace, with a low back and deep V in the front. It's quite lovely, and looks really good on her. Her mom and grandma came over to see it last week and cried with happiness. I was really nervous....as with most brides, mom's opinion means everything, luckily, Amy's mom loved the dress. Some minor changes and final fittings and I will have completed my first wedding dress! weeee. What next you ask, well if you must know I am making Geoff and I unicorn costumes for gay pride in Montreal. I've ordered baby pink and baby blue PVC vinyl online and am going to make them as soon as I get it. I'm going to be pink, geoff will be blue. I ordered the stupid fabric online and payed the astronomical shipping fees, only to the next day find the exact same fabric in the same colors at fabric land in the NE. I was so fucking mad. Anyways, I've enclosed a picture of the costume....

I realize I don't have this guys body... Although maybe if I carry my car to work and only eat celery for the next 3 weeks I might. But, if that doesn't happen, my current body will have to make due. What do you think bloggers? good idea? Any recommendations on how to make the hooves? I'm still trying to work that one out...

oxox

Kyle the Negligent.

been a while....

I got lost in my brain and haven't emerged in a couple weeks, sorry. This has been a confusing month. I finished my 40 day yoga challenge. Now I can float and buddha and I have tea on a higher plain of existence.

...well, not exactly I suppose. I can only float on weekends, and only during a full moon. This is what yoga teaches you-those of you who have never done it.

I jest of course. But it was enlightening. I feel........enlightened. Boy this isn't easily deciphered...I guess as I've said before, the journey is the goal. Finishing is rewarding, but it's not the goal. I really had serious up's and down's. I definitely crashed and burned one week in a big weepy mess,...but was pretty much okay after that happened. It forced me to look inward and reflect on what I really want for my life, my body, my well-being. I'm going to keep it up...not everyday, but several times a week. I like taking the time out of my day to connect. I think it will make me a better artist in the long run. Speaking of art....I made hats for jessica's wedding. They turned out really well I think. Very pretty. I now am working on a wedding dress for my hair dresser. It's pretty, off white lace....very flowy, I'll post pictures when it's done.

I'm also getting my head shots done tomorrow for that acting class I'm taking. I need to try and look....handsome. Tricky. I researched what to wear. Apparently solid bold colors work best, black for a more dramatic look ... *puts away sequence vest, and feather boa....* I was so wrong....

okay, now go make a wedding dress! but first get coffee and have a little nap and text dear friends and paint toe nails and have a sandwich and sweep the living room. Wait wait. make a wedding dress. why is this so hard?

Hello World Here Comes a Star! sorta

Okay first of all here's the link to the video of my collection.
http://www.youtube.com/user/albertafashionweek#p/u/1/ev6DKrO9veg
I'm also posting a picture that Daniel Tremblay took of one of my hats. It's pretty eh? I love these hats. I'm working on some for Jessica's bridesmaids right now, although they're different (smaller) but still lovely I think.

I also have some off the wall news.....I've decided to get back into acting! I know I know. Focus kyle focus. follow through with your endeavors - becoming a fashion designer- trust me Geoffrey and Katia, I know I know. I just want to shake things up a bit and do something different. I did a diploma in theater when I was in college before I switched to and majored in visual art, so it's not like picking something up from scratch. I just haven't done it in a while, I put it down so I could focus on getting my degree in visual art, but now that I'm done school I thought why not go back and do this other thing that I love and miss so much.

I responded to an add in the paper and all of a sudden I seem to have an agent and am getting head shots done. I'm taking a class on how to audition for film (as it is different than theater) and here we go! I feel like the people in my life think I'm ridiculous, but I suppose it's not there life- it's mine. Jen knows that I used to act and wasn't totally bad at it. She was very encouraging of this I must say. She's my only close friend at present that has seen and enjoyed me on stage. No one else has because I haven't really done it in 5 years.

My awesome dad was really supportive too and has helped my personally and financially (otherwise there was no way I could do it) So with Dad and Jen's support I'm taking the leap! It's not that big of deal, I'm sure I won't be doing it all the time, and like Tiff and Ashley said (they were really excited and supportive too btw) it's not like I'm going to throw my sewing machine away just because I audition for a couple of roles here and there. I'll still do fashion week, and still work towards....something.

I just love most art forms and want to do them all! oh! I have to go, I have to write an epic poem and hula hoop for an hour before work,

oxox

feel free to give me your encouragement bloggers, go knows I'll need it!

Yoga is kicking my ass

Dear god.

Okay, it's not that big of deal physically, yes I'm soar and it is challenging- emotionally it's much much more difficult then I anticipated. The other day a friend said some hurtful (that I may or may not have taken out of context- it is undecided) and it totally sent me into a downward spiral. I was on my mat in class working hard, as I always try to and just all of a sudden dropped my arm in defeat, fell into childs pose and cried. Yeah, awesome I know. What was actually said was very insignificant in the scheme of things, but it just felt like such a huge barrier and made me want to shout "what's the point!!" and leap off my mat in a fit of tears straight to a big plate of pancakes.

That being said, I'm starting to realize the emotional impact of doing an hour and a half of hot yoga everyday. It's a lot more difficult to be with yourself in meditation everyday then you'd expect. Being with the body is easy when compared to being with the mind.

I've concluded that anything that affects change is difficult. Every piece of art that I've toiled over, cryed over, screamed at, or turned my back to, have became the pieces that have shaped my practice and inspired others. Anything easy always falls flat. That being said, I'm about 20 days into yoga. I'm at that difficult half way point that makes me want to run. . It's now that I must stand firm and proceed.

I know a lot of people don't get what I'm talking about. How can yoga be so emotional? What's the big deal? Kyle's a big drama queen. Although that may be true.... this practice does have a very viable, and inexplicable ability to evoke something within yourself that you don't understand or know how to deal with. It really is beyond me to try and express the changes that are actually occurring- and much like that frustrating painting or dress- I don't actually know what the outcome will look like. I assume the outcome will be moving. It might not be pretty, but definitively moving

I see Geoff's eyes glaze over when I talk about yoga- I know he doesn't understand, and I can't fault him for not getting it when I really don't even get it myself. All I know is change is afoot, and I'm glad I have this blog to at least share it with you guys.

If you're eyes are glazed over from reading this, I apologize. When I'm a Yoga superhero that can heal wounds magically with my yoga touch and float from mat to mat you'll be happy you knew of the process.

Kent Monkman: The Triumph of Mischief

I went to the Glenbow with Travis and Jen the other day and viewed the Kent Monkman Exhibition. I really enjoyed it! It's really ... funny, actually. I was laughing out loud and people were looking at me...but I'm pretty sure my response was valid. He painted these epic landscapes and inserted himself in drag surrounded by half naked (or fully naked) cowboys and Satires with erections. It was awesome! I find it's helpful to go and look at art in my off time. It generates ideas about my own practice.

Speaking of my own practice....it's non-existent at the moment. I haven't made anything and haven't really wanted to. I really need to learn consistency. Fashion week was a real push through to the end and now I just feel like doing yoga and drinking coffee.

Do you ever have doubts that you're on the wrong path? I do sometimes. I know I'm good at what I do and I do enjoy it, but I think back to the time when I was in acting and how much I loved it- in high school and college. I was doing really well...and then I got into acad and haven't really acted since. I suppose this is the affliction of a creative person. I want to do everything. all of the time. Why can't I be an actor, a dancer, a yoga practitioner, a clothing designer and film stylist all at the same time?
I shall do nothing instead. That seems to be what I have been doing.

I need a business manager.